IS THIS A STRENGTH COACH: UGA EDITION

SUBJECT: SCOTT SINCLAIR

Is he listed as a strength coach?

Yeah, that’s what it says on his title, right there on the screen. So technically yes, he’s a strength coach, hired to Georgia from Marshall University. He must have been good there—His football players, living in Huntington, West Virginia, the fattest town in America, were not visibly wheezing after every play.

What kind of strength coach? The kind who shaves his head? With a goatee or without?

He’s the kind who shaves his head, but doesn’t have a goatee.

Ah, a maverick. Loud-scary or quiet-scary?

We think he’s the loud-scary type if he has to be, though he really leans more toward the vocal enthusiastic type with a flair for the theatrical and multiple motivational day-of-the-week hashtags like #ThrowdownThursday and #FlexFriday. Remember: Smart made a run at Scott Cochran of Alabama before Saban piled a very attractive raise in Cochran’s direction and the EXTREMELY LOUD AT ALL TIMES Cochran stayed in Tuscaloosa. If you can’t get that, you get someone who can approximate that. We’re pretty sure Sinclair can do a pretty good version of that, based on recent events.

What do you mean by theatrical?

That’s what we mean by theatrical, we say, asking you to look at the timestamp and note that Sinclair is wearing a heavy coat on July 25th in Athens, Georgia. It was 93 degrees that day. The inside of that coat afterwards probably smelled like the the outside of an exploded whale carcass—not because Sinclair is a dirty person, but because anyone wearing a heavy coat in Georgia heat would leave that garment a biohazard.

There’s also laying across the backs of players doing plank poses while doing a plank pose himself. Classic-grade strength coach form, if we may say so ourselves.

When he came in, let us guess, did he “overhaul the program and represent a new approach to strength and con—”

HE DID, READER. HE DID.

Does he listen to Metallica, or Zac Brown Band?

Stereotypes are cruel, and we’re about to prove you wrong, because: He listens to both.

Is he actually strong?

Yeah he’s here shrugging 675 with relative ease so sure, he seems real dang strong.

Does the potential strength coach do anything super strength coach-y you’d like to submit here as additional evidence?

Yes, this video of him and other UGA strength and conditioning people doing human centipede wheelbarrow walks on glute-ham rollers.

That’s really got it all: A new weight room toy, some SEAL/military type team-building torture, something sort of silly-looking that actually is hard as hell to do, and a bunch of grunting. We feel very strongly about Scott Sinclair definitely being a strength coach, but if nothing else does it this should.

Also at the 2:38 mark of this video he does the Turtleman “LIVE ACTION” call, which is real, real strength coach-y.

We are leaning towards labeling him as a definite Strength Coach. Does he make his players deadlift?

Oh, this is a very strong portion of his resume. Not only is the answer a “yes”, but he gets powerful bonuses for a.) using the 1990s favorite accessory, the trap bar, for them but also b.) getting his players to jump out of them and over stacks of agility boxes to finish the sets.

We told you: this is definitely a top-flight strength coach by ranking of strength coach things alone, and that’s before we’ve confirmed that he owns and drives a massive battering ram of a truck.

The findings of this panel are complete: DEFINITELY A STRENGTH COACH.